uhhh idk, i hate choosing titles!

I'm sorry, this is all that I have been blogging about lately but its kinda all I've thought about. In sunday school on Sunday this quote was read from the manual. Here it is with my interjections added.
Elder Boyd K. Packer said:

“Shortly after I was called as a General Authority, I went to Elder Harold B. Lee for counsel. He listened very carefully to my problem and suggested that I see President David O. McKay. President McKay counseled me as to the direction I should go[I've recieved counsel to what I need to do]. I was very willing to be obedient but saw no way possible for me to do as he counseled me to do[exactly. How can I do this?!?! That is exactly what has been running through my mind].

“I returned to Elder Lee and told him that I saw no way to move in the direction I was counseled to go[mmhmm]. He said, ‘The trouble with you is you want to see the end from the beginning.’ I replied that I would like to see at least a step or two ahead[well yeah.. I'm soo apprehensive as to what will happen next!]. Then came the lesson of a lifetime: ‘You must learn to walk to the edge of the light, and then a few steps into the darkness; then the light will appear and show the way before you’ [which is just the lesson I need to learn]” (“The Edge of the Light,” BYU Today, Mar. 1991, 22–23).

Thanks Brother {he who shall not be named} for reading that to us. I was like "what?! thats exactly what I'm doing!" Oh and I think you're going to do an incredible job at teaching us. I know you're scared to embark on this journey, but seriously, after that first lesson I'm looking foward to every other week when you get to teach us. It's okay that you've only recently reactivated, I think you're great!

In other news- my nephew was born saturday night just before midnight. yes sir, he's a definite keeper:)

Gratitude

So much relief. Its definitely not over yet, but today has made me feel so much better about my decision. I know that my Heavenly Father is guiding me to just take a leap of faith and let Him point me in the right direction. Its definitely one of the hardest things I've ever done, but now I know that I need to.

I was talking to a friend about it today and she made me feel so much better about it. I know that it'll all be okay even if it'll be hard, and I know that it will be. And people like her will be there for me. She just completely reassured me, as she's gone through a similar situation, that I won't regret it and it really will be better in the long run. But then, I keep having these worries and doubts that it really won't be better, and just then, as these qualms creeped into my mind, a different friend had read my blog and asked me about it and honestly cared, and then my cousin said she had a feeling that she should text me and see how I was doing- right then. Heavenly Father really is looking out for me. And then I read comments from the last post I wrote and it has just made me feel so much more at peace about everything. There really are people out there that care about me and believe in me and know that I can be strong and get through this. So thanks to all of you. Really.

mechale lauren

When life gets you down you know what you gotta do?...

...just keep swimming.

**Disclaimer: Much of this post won't make sense... It's more of my ramblings than anything.**

I'm done.

I don't know why, but I'm just so frustrated lately. Actually I do know why. My grades are seriously no bueno right now and school's out in about 2 1/2 weeks and I don't know if some of my grades can get up. And on top of that I have a huge decision to make. What is that decision? Oh you know, just one that I'm keeping out of the cyber world at the moment:)

I've been so stressed out about it this week. I feel like I sortof know what I'm supposed to do, but I just don't know for sure. Its too hard. Yes, I've prayed about it and done my best to find answers in the scriptures, New Era, Conference talks, old EFY manuals, you name it, but nothing is clicking yet. How do you make a change in your life that affects every aspect of it in a huge way? I've made a pros and cons list too and it doesn't seem to help. I just don't know. I wonder if there's a way that I can change the situation without taking drastic measures because those drastic measures are the ones I'm wary about. I don't want to lose this part of my life, but in return I'd gain something more valuable, I think. Nothing about it is clear at the moment. Ugh. I have no clue what to do.

for a rainy day

i just happened upon this lovely ditty
as well as this one-

both sung by Tanya Davis and art by Andrea Dorfman

hmm yep, they're fun. i like.

score. he is we definitely emailed me back. they're so cool haha. and they said they def want to come back because they had so much fun in good ol' utah. and they said, and i quote "because u had to miss [the concert], we will hang with you a bunch next time" yes. haha. isn't it fun to be a groupie when the band is still generally not known?! i do believe it is. much more personal that way

i'm stoked.

obsession

please listen here.

listen to lovey love, all about us, happily ever after, radio, breathe, better than the rain, light away and any and all others por favor.

if you aren't immediately in love... well. thats not good. but thats a joke because i'll accept you even if you don't love the exact same music as me:) but you'll love it. don't even worry.

so he is we is comprised of rachel and trevor.. like 19 years old. they decided to make music together and he is we is the result. incredible.

so last night they came to concert in murray, utah and guess who couldn't be there? yep, thats right, me. I was driving home from oregon for my grandma's funeral. I think i died a million deaths..okay thats a bit extreme, but i sorely wanted to be there. for real. a bunch of my friendlies went and told me all about it:) mostly miss maddie moo, i love you! haha, rhyme. but really, they had such an amazing time! i'm so glad they were all able to go so i could hear about it! apparently they all became like buddy buddy with rachel and trevor like got numbers and stuff! are they lucky or what!? and now he is we wants to come back, so we're hoping it all works out:) i emailed them like a month ago to come to utah and when they do i couldn't go! but i emailed them again today so they'll be back, i'm sure of it! haha, how cool would it be if they replied?! hmm. lets all wish upon a star that they do. i'll keep ya posted;)

oh he is we. she is incredible at vocals and he is amazing at the guitar. and the best part about them is- and this is from my friends- but they are such cool people! like way chill and fun to be around. i want to meet them so badly! gah. i'll get my chance one of these days. until then i'll just be the best fan eever

mechale lauren

p.s. if you want free downloads for 12 of their songs that are completely legal because they put the songs up themselves to spread the word go here

Airplanes

Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? I could really use a wish right now.
-"Airplanes" B.o.B ft.Hayley Williams

I like this song. yeah.

Well I originally planned for this to be a long post because I have a lot to say I just don't know how to say it so this is all you're gonna get.

maybe I'll post more later.

mechale lauren

p.s. jane I hope that you just said "wait what? thats really it? what?" with wimpy bunny ears raised:)