Kiss Me Slowly

Not literally.. Its just the name of the song later in the post ha.

Hey there. I've really wanted to blog for quite some time but alas, school has indeed gotten the better of me. but since today is the first day I haven't had homework in 2 weeks might as well blog, right? Right.

First off- I just came home from mutual to find my mother reading this blog. Is that okay with me? not really. I mean, yeah, what do I have to hide? but I didn't like it.. once I move out in a year and a half its free game but for now, I'm concerned.

Next, school? Yeah I'm so done with these AP american reviews. deathly. oh and on another note, I typed 26 full pages of homework in 3 days last week. Its really not that much, but it really wasn't all that enjoyable. And I had Calc reviews and Chemistry homework on top. But I finally learned how to study. It's taken me how many years? But I made some good habits these past two weeks and breaking them today has been difficult.

I must say that I'm pretty excited about my multi-genre paper for english. I'm doing it all about failure. Not your usual topic but its going to be epic. I already love it. I've come to find that I enjoy writing. Let me clarify that- I enjoy writing creatively about things I care about. like failure. It's been enlightening and I've learned a lot about myself. Isn't that really what writing should be for- learning and experiencing? I think I'm going to like this assignment.

I have so many things I want to say but I really don't know how to say them. I have so many thoughts floating around that I can't express. But ya know what, sometimes it's nice to have thoughts that really don't have any definitive meaning if that makes sense. Words have a way of being concrete. I'm sure some english buff out there will argue against my point and say that words contain a freedom and such, but contrast words with a thought. A thought has a chance to morph however it wants. It can choose some words one second to describe it and a whole new set a moment later. But words are just... there. Sure they carry thoughts, emotions, feelings but I love the ambiguity of thoughts. Thoughts are so intimate. My thoughts are only for me. I can share them through words but then they're just words. No more a cloud of abstract, metamorphic feeling. Hmm.. enough of that tangent... that was weird.

I found this new video today. Remember how 2 years ago I found Parachute and fell in love? Remember how their music meant a lot to me in a very very strange way? Remember how everytime I hear them, I remember a lot about myself and who I am? Remember how they helped me find my identity? Yeah, me too. That was a strange time, but I'm grateful for it. Parachute is one of my very top favorite bands. They aren't anything super exceptional or exciting but I absolutely love their music. And I kinda really like this minimalistic video.. Go Parachute.



I keep thinking about a mssed opportunity. It kinda hurts. Not really, but there's a definite twinge of regret. Maybe someday it'll come around again.
I had some other things that I wanted to blog about but its really not going to happen right now. I'm in a pretty contemplative mood and somehow a racoon and its babies in my chimney don't really fit in right now. Neither does Prom... So rather, I'm going to head to bed, find solace in my thoughts and call it a day.

mechale lauren

p.s. that was a weird post. don't judge