of closing my eyes. laying on my bed. blasting a song over and over and over. and thinking. I think so much better when I'm listening to music, I don't know what it is. At the moment I keep listining to Be Here by Parachute. Quite frankly, I don't even know what it's about but I love it. Every once in a while I find these gems of songs. I just listen over and over. It helps me think. I don't even really know what I'm thinking about.
Maybe I'm being grateful for my realtively easy life.
Maybe I'm thinking about my friend and the hard time she's having at the moment.
Maybe I'm wondering how I can be a better person.
Maybe I'm acting.
Maybe I'm asking why its just not working out.
Maybe I'm wanting to go for it.
Maybe I'm worrying about getting hurt again.
Maybe I'm trying to be more compassionate and judge less.
Maybe I'm feeling jealous
Maybe I'm hoping it won't end.
Maybe I'm wishing things won't change.
Maybe I'm believing in things that won't happen.
I don't know. But I do know that music helps me sort out this brain of mine traveling a million miles per hour.
Its late, I should go sleep.
I just needed to spell it all out in words.
Thanks for listening.
mechalelauren
Know what I decided? Well whether or not you WANT to know, you're going to:) I decided that we need to talk more. Not like when girls say "girl 1:Oh I miss you! We should hang out soon! girl 2: Definitely, anytime!" and a year later-still nothing. I mean the true blue, real deal, We Need To Talk More. Text me, call me. Fill me in on the life of mechale (you know how that is pronounced when coming from me:).)
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